


Everything (I Thought) I Could Never Tell You

by weresquad (taehob)



Series: MCU: Steve/Bucky [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Skinny Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 20:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3501569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taehob/pseuds/weresquad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>1. Bucky finds a CD in Steve's laptop titled "Everything I Could Never Tell You"<br/>2. Steve refuses to say who it's for<br/>3. The guessing game begins</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything (I Thought) I Could Never Tell You

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't proofread this, so this is basically a first draft. I apologize in advance for any mistakes. Please point them out if you see any.

Bucky barges into Steve’s room, as unannounced as always, and throws his bag onto the floor. “Hey, buddy, missed you at school.”

Steve does his best to sniff all snot back up his nose and look as menacing as possible while cocooned in a blanket on his bed. “Don’t you ever knock?”

It’s a rhetorical question, because they both know Bucky never knocks and Steve doesn’t really care. Once you’ve seen someone’s dick enough times, what’s even the point in keeping up the facade of privacy?

Bucky lifts Steve’s legs out of his way to sit, letting them fall unceremoniously across his own, and eyes the laptop that’s resting next to them. “You better not have been working while you’re sick,” he says, picking it up and moving it to the chest at the foot of the bed.

“If I didn’t work while I was sick, I’d never get any work done at all,” Steve says, or at least Bucky thinks so, but he starts yawning in the middle of it, so he’s not sure. He really shouldn’t feel this tired at three in the afternoon, but he is warm and content and could probably sleep where he sits. Steve must get that, because he shifts to the outermost section of the bed, leaving Bucky a place to lie down next to him.

He does so without hesitation, and after a short argument, he manages to convince Steve that he won’t get sick just from sharing the blankets with him. “Thanks,” he says, burying his face in a pillow, and he’s out in seconds.

\---

“Aw, look at you guys, snuggled up tighter than corn on the cob.”

Bucky is blinking blearily, trying to find the motivation to sit up, while Steve says, “Doesn’t _anyone_ knock?”

Sam grabs the desk chair and sits down, pulling a folder of papers from his bag and holding them out. “These are for you.”

“Thanks,” Steve says, sitting up and dragging the blankets with him, right over Bucky’s head.

Sam hums in response and takes out his phone. “I really don’t know why they keep giving me your work. Bucky’s the one who lives in your back pocket.”

Bucky makes a half-hearted sound of protest and finally crawls out from under the covers. He rolls his shoulders before climbing out of bed and into the bathroom across the hall, not bothering to shut any doors behind him.

“Nobody wants to see your ass,” Sam says, then adds, “Hawaiian or Meat Lover’s?”

Bucky thinks about it while he washes his hands, then replies with the latter. As Sam is ordering the pizza, he makes his way back to Steve’s bed and his eye catches on the CD that’s partially ejected from the laptop. He must’ve hit a button when he picked it up.

“What’s this?” he asks, pulling the CD out to read the writing on it. “Everything I Could Never Tell You. What _is_ this?”

Steve tries to grab it, but Bucky just leans away and pushes it back into the laptop. The first song he doesn’t recognize, so he lets it play, trying to listen to the lyrics. It is very clearly a love song and Bucky looks over at Steve, who's watching with a particular look of nausea that's probably not from being sick. “Turn it off.”

Bucky glances at Sam, who’s put his phone away and is staring at the pair of them with curiosity. He shrugs, and Bucky skips to the next song on the CD. He knows this one. Howie Day. Collide. “Who is this for?”

Steve grabs for the laptop again and Bucky holds it just out of reach. “It’s not for anyone.”

“Oh, come on, you can’t title something _Everything I Could Never Tell You_ and then expect me to believe it isn’t meant for someone.”

“I can and I am. Shut it off, Bucky.”

Bucky changes the song and fast-forwards to the middle of it. _If you love me with all that you are, if you love me, I’ll make you a star in my universe._

“Maybe you should turn that off,” Sam says. “It seems kind of private.”

Sighing, Bucky pauses the music and squints his eyes at both of his friends, like that could help him figure out what crush Steve is keeping from him. “Is it for Peggy?”

Steve rakes a hand down his face. “No, it’s not for Peggy. Just drop it.”

Bucky purses his lips. “Is it--”

“No! And your next guess? No. And I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that the guess after that is also a no.”

Before Bucky can say anything, Sam interrupts them, standing up from his chair with his hands raised. “Okay, looks like now is the perfect time to go stand in the kitchen for several minutes and pretend to be doing something. Do you want anything, Steve?”

“Just Steve? What am I, soggy bread?” Bucky throws a pillow at him, but he catches it easily, making a face.

“No, you’re just not sick and bedridden.”

Bucky huffs in mock-indignance as Sam leaves the room, then looks back at Steve. “It’s really not Peggy?”

Steve groans and buries his face in his blankets.

\---

“Is it Nat?” Bucky asks the next day, taking a seat next to Steve at their lunch table and causing him to choke on his food.

Natasha glances up at the mention of her name, but otherwise ignores them.

After Steve stops coughing, he levels a look at Bucky. “Why would you ask that when she’s _right here_? And no, it’s not. God, I thought you were done with this.”

Bucky thought he was done with it too. He was fully intending on leaving the subject to rot in the dirt, but he realized it bugged him more than he thought. Him and Steve had always told each other everything. Jesus, they were so close that Steve had practically dated all of  Bucky’s girlfriends by proxy. “Sure. Sure. Fine. I’m done.” _For now_.

“I don’t want to know what’s going on here, “ Natasha says, waving her hand at them, “but keep my name out of it.”

Steve gives her an apologetic smile and starts eating again, and Bucky stay relatively quiet for the rest of lunch. He has _things_ to plan.

\---

“I’m not playing,” Steve says, giving Bucky his signature take-no-bullshit look.

“Come on, Stevie, it’s game night! Everyone always plays on game night.” Bucky sandwiches himself between Steve and Tony on the couch, causing the latter to huff something about Bucky ‘marking his territory’. Bucky ignores him, as per usual, and continues to pester Steve until he agrees to play Truth or Dare.

After about fifteen minutes, Tony has stopped complaining about having to rotate houses for game night each week and everyone has made themselves mostly comfortable in the living room. The coffee table is pushed to the side, leaving Clint, Bruce, and Sam places to sit on the floor, Pepper is in the reclining chair, and Natasha has the bean bag from Clint’s room. All together, they form a half-assed sort of elliptical shape that everyone figures is good enough for the game.

Bucky offers to go first and directs his question at Tony, just to lull Steve into a false sense of security. “Truth or dare, Tony?”

He purses his lips for a moment, then says, “Dare.”

A grin overtakes Bucky’s face. What a lovely way to start the night. “Go shave your eyebrows off.”

 

By the time Steve gets a turn, Clint has eaten a spoonful of honey-covered garlic, Natasha has lost her shirt, Pepper has admitted that she’s thought of at least one person in the room romantically, and Sam and Bruce are handcuffed (nobody asks Clint why he has handcuffs).

Steve turns to his left, smiling innocently. “Truth or dare?”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Dare.”

“I dare you to stop asking me about that CD.”

Everyone but Sam looks confused and Bucky swears. He hadn’t planned for this outcome. He either agrees to the dare or loses the game. _Fuck_. “No deal. I’m out.”

Steve looks surprised and Bucky smirks. “Well, that didn’t work out how you wanted it to.” He flexes his grip on Steve’s side, where his hand had somehow slipped over the course of the game, and settles back in his seat. At least he can enjoy watching the game, even if he can’t be part of it.

 

(Clint ends up winning after he dares Natasha to kiss him. She wouldn’t have had a problem with it if anyone else dared her to, so Bucky knows it’s just because she likes denying him. Why they aren’t dating yet is beyond anyone’s understanding.)

\---

It takes a week of trying to guess Steve’s secret crush that Bucky realizes why it’s bothering him so much. At first he thought it was because he’d be losing a lot of quality time with his best friend to somebody else, but it’s not that at all. It’s not platonic jealousy that makes his stomach roil when someone is a little too friendly with Steve. It’s the possibility of being replaced as the most important person in Steve’s life. It’s the idea that _BuckyandSteve_ could one day turn into _Bucky_ and _Steve_. Just thinking about anyone getting to know Steve like he does makes the ground feel like it’s crumbling beneath his feet.

To make it all worse, he feels like shit for realizing his feelings only after the chance of losing Steve is brought up. Steve deserves better than that, deserves someone who knows from the start how lucky they are to have him.

 

All Bucky can think for the rest of the day is _I’m in love with my best friend_ followed by an endless stream of curses.

\---

Bucky really didn’t mean for it to happen, he really didn’t, but he somehow just _happened_ to _accidentally_ start playing Steve’s CD while Steve was at the store with his uncle. Truly. And maybe _continuing_ to listen after that wasn’t an accident, but Bucky Barnes has never been accused of having perfect self-control.

So, really, Steve shouldn’t be so upset when he comes home and finds Bucky already on the seventeenth track. But he is, and he promptly storms into the room, shuts the laptop, and gives Bucky a look that’s a mix of _you fucking dick_ and _I’m honestly disappointed in you_. AKA the look that makes Bucky feel like sinking into a deep, dark hole and never coming out.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and it sounds lame even to his own ears.

Steve just sighs and sits on the bed, kicking his shoes off and pulling his knees up. “Why’s it bothering you so much?”

Bucky lets his head fall back and stares at the ceiling. _It’s bothering me because I can’t stand the thought of you liking someone else. It’s bothering me because I’m in love with you._ He can’t say either, so what ends up coming out is, “I’m starting to wonder if it was made for anyone at all. I mean, I’ve named pretty much everyone I’ve ever seen you look at. God, the only people I haven’t guessed are your uncle and me.”

When no response comes, he turns to Steve, who’s buried his head in his knees.

“It’s not… It’s not me?” Bucky asks, and it sounds ridiculous, because he’s never once considered it a possibility.

Steve picks his head up, setting his mouth in the way he does when he’s about to say something he thinks will probably get him punched in the face. “It's you.”

Bucky feels like his heart is trying to jump out of his throat, so when he tries to say that he feels the same, it just comes out a pained whine.

Steve nods, like he’s got Bucky’s answer. “I get it,” he says, but he really, really doesn’t, and Bucky does the only thing he can do that doesn’t involve talking. He pushes himself onto his knees and cups Steve’s face and kisses him like it’s the only thing in the world that matters, and it kind of feels like it is. It only takes a second before Steve’s kissing back, and it’s a little bit frantic, a little bit of a mess, but that’s the way Steve always makes him feel, so it’s perfect as far as Bucky’s concerned.

When they pull apart, Bucky props a hand against the wall and rests his forehead on Steve’s knees. “I can’t believe you drove me crazy for nearly two weeks when it was meant for me the whole time.”

And shit, he hadn’t really thought about that. It was meant for him. Those songs were Steve’s feelings he was listening to.

He leans up to kiss Steve again, softer and sweeter than before, and there might be tears prickling at the back of both of their eyes. “Mind if I play the other songs?”

Steve shakes his head and Bucky opens the laptop back up. Turns out, there’s only two more. The eighteenth is I’m Yours by Jason Mraz and Bucky twines their fingers when it starts playing. Then the nineteenth plays and Bucky makes a sound that’s somewhere between a laugh and a sob. Some musician is singing through the speakers about falling in love with his best friend. “So this is why you didn’t want me listening to it, huh?”

As the last song ends, Bucky squeezes Steve’s hand and says, “I guess he just didn’t have the right best friend.”

Steve smiles and Bucky thinks he finally understands what personified sunshine looks like.

\---

The next day at school, when they hold hands under the table, Pepper smiles like they've just personally given her a gift and Natasha throws a fry at them for taking so long to figure it out.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, there really was a track list for this CD and here it is:
> 
>  
> 
> [Angels - The XX](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9HlQTvF4uw)  
> [Collide - Howie Day](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk9G7OyKwLM)  
> [For You - Angus and Julia Stone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIULEgzRzgg)  
> [You and I - Ingrid Michaelson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdEN1b-dwlw)  
> [Something Great - One Direction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NaljXn8QtU)  
> [Bloom - The Paper Kites](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YfqLOWorSY)  
> [Can’t Help Falling In Love - Ingrid Michaelson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhQp5wJyRUo)  
> [Realize - Colbie Caillat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-elI3cO4x4)  
> [Have You Ever - Brandy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y04Ph6D0kTw)  
> [Goodbye Apathy - OneRepublic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yVzH69XZBw)  
> [May I - Trading Yesterday](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlFqz7NnoX4)  
> [Say Something - A Great Big World](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PgwVoTW3dQ)  
> [Until You’re Mine - Demi Lovato](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tWbLwbLPQw)  
> [Why Don’t We Go There - One Direction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaS4OQeZOdc)  
> [Unthinkable - Alicia Keys](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkGUHgLbqzA)  
> [Hey Yo! - Brooke Hogan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vMvw4hrCvA)  
> [Things I’ll Never Say - Avril Lavigne](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPl5kL_Uha0)  
> [I’m Yours - Jason Mraz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy0AmZu3xLg)  
> [Falling in Love - Matt White](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVq_nN1Mt0w)
> 
>  
> 
> (I cannot vouch for the accuracy of the lyrics on the videos linked)
> 
>  
> 
> Remember: kudos and comments are my life source. ;*


End file.
